Non-Jews are for practice
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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