No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
