I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
