We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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