I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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