sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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