that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
