Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
