his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have fence marks all over my body
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
