I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
