i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
