He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize