Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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