Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
