Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
