They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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