There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
