We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
