im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
