All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize