How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
