OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
