you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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