I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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