i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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