bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
