I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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