You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
