I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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