I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
