We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize