He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i out mim tonsoeep
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