dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
