i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
