a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
