when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
