I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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