OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Randomize
