I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
