I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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