alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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