Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
