There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize