i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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