We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
