Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.

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(513): View more from Ohio

So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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(817): View more from Texas

So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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(816): View more from Missouri

It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.

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(631): View more from New York

I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.

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