FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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