Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we made out on top of his cat.

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  (503): we made out on top of his cat. http://tfl.nu/6lsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1453) Bad night (2925)
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  (650): View more from California

  We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign

  (562): View more from California

  You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo

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  (650): We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign (562): You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo http://tfl.nu/9pp5
  Replies (68) Good night (5796) Bad night (1102)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

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  (602): So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw. http://tfl.nu/cazb
  Replies (19) Good night (4030) Bad night (812)
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  (650): View more from California

  on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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  (650): on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/s17l
  Replies (11) Good night (5752) Bad night (1169)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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  (248): the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky http://tfl.nu/6tb5
  Replies (22) Good night (8891) Bad night (1474)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (5104) Bad night (2102)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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  (773): I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech. http://tfl.nu/9arc
  Replies (8) Good night (5107) Bad night (1448)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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  (918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz
  Replies (27) Good night (3850) Bad night (2080)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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  (214): You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp http://tfl.nu/t0a5
  Replies (9) Good night (1404) Bad night (2760)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.

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  (705): Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work. http://tfl.nu/y66t
  Replies (21) Good night (797) Bad night (2064)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.

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  (309): note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never. http://tfl.nu/8ha6
  Replies (7) Good night (431) Bad night (1238)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (359)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Send help, water and tortillas.

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  (512): Send help, water and tortillas. http://tfl.nu/ih4z
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (330)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!

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  (606): I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about! http://tfl.nu/4ra3
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (262)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?

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  (410): Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of? http://tfl.nu/mce5
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (639)

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