i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.