Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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  (586): There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering http://tfl.nu/580n
  Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (546)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want your puppy

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I meant pussy

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I would rather you take my puppy

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  (507): I want your puppy (507): I meant pussy (612): I would rather you take my puppy http://tfl.nu/alg5
  Replies (34) Good night (1293) Bad night (5111)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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  (847): She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing. http://tfl.nu/qwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2074) Bad night (4206)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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  (734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4
  Replies (23) Good night (836) Bad night (3215)
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  (310): View more from California

  A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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  (310): A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am. http://tfl.nu/d1e6
  Replies (111) Good night (9910) Bad night (1752)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  (314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc
  Replies (27) Good night (955) Bad night (4141)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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  (615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car. http://tfl.nu/bhcd
  Replies (11) Good night (3532) Bad night (1151)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5562) Bad night (960)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  did i walk over a car last night?

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  (+61): did i walk over a car last night? http://tfl.nu/hd3i
  Replies (4) Good night (1979) Bad night (623)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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  (615): I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/xkmh
  Replies (1) Good night (1839) Bad night (895)
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  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

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  (831): Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/9nkx
  Replies (4) Good night (1413) Bad night (614)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (873) Bad night (1973)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

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  (940): I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused http://tfl.nu/s5e1
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (200)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.

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  (614): yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner. http://tfl.nu/ta4u
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (161)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem

  (850): View more from Florida

  #reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder

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  (561): When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem (850): #reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder http://tfl.nu/uh6h
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (178)

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