Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
