he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
