Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
