I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
