just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize