too bad you live with your parents still
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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