Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
