In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
