I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
