Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
