Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
