Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
