Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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