I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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