I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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