I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
either way he was missing a nipple.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
