There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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