i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
