Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I came so hard my ears popped.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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